Have you ever noticed those old guys watching kid’s soccer from a distance?
These guys watch in silence and relive their soccer career. Memories that seem to last when the faded jersey that no longer fits doesn’t.
If you’re not willing to let go, watching soccer, especially kid’s soccer can be excruciatingly boring in that it’s so predictable. The lies, the evasions, the transparent self justification and anger that sparks when your child gets distracted and finds refuge in kicking the mud instead of the ball.
Parents yelling instructions, abuse and the continued praise that is jam packed with artificial sweeteners plays out like an opera that has a predictable ending with the young hero losing his innocence and inevitably the spotlight.
Like my girlfriend reminds me every day, “it’s not about you!”
I couldn’t agree with her more as the gulping noise swallows my EGO.
We’ve talked about it a hundred times, haven’t we? Do not live your sporting failures through your children. Do not live anything through your children. Guide them, protect them, love them and let them forge out their own path and destiny.
The old saying “If you love someone you’ll set them free” rings alarmingly true in this case.
Let your children go!
Let YOUR dreams fade, step back and hold the spotlight for your children.
If you’re not willing to let go, kid’s soccer becomes boring.
What does boring look like in this case?
Something that’s boring goes nowhere. It travels in a vicious circle and never arrives at its destination. The circular nature of the frustrated soccer parent is what makes it excruciating. The child doesn’t develop and no progress is ever made. The drive home is full of disappointment, frustrations and the silence is deafening until its time to do it all over again.
What ever the reasons, it’s difficult to overcome the forces of self sabotage that stop us from achieving the life we want. Everybody does it, including you!
Don’t believe me?
When you wake up every morning, are you, going to work or are you following your dreams or living the life you want?
Told you so!
Since we are not chasing our dreams, the next easy step is to seek relief from the pain, the guilt and to submerge our lives into our children and make them try and live our dreams because we’ve missed the boat or don’t have the guts to change things.
The three boys in the photo mean the world to me. One scores goals and terrorizes his age group. The other sings like an angel, reads better than me and would be a great player if he wasn’t such a perfectionist. The little one just giggles and laughs when I dance in front of him.
Will they play soccer professionally like I did?
Who cares!
What drives me and inspires me is their smile.
So next time you’re freezing and watching them kick the ball around free yourself of the tyranny of your EGO. You know the one! That piss poor ego that devalues your children’s life.
Remember…..
“It’s not about YOU”. Insight may come in a flash, but it’s the result of accumulated experiences- whether you like it or not.
Light bulb moments in life are often triggered by little things. It only takes one ounce of awareness and a beautiful SMILE to change everything.
Think about it!
“May the winds of destiny blow you to the stars.”
I would just add that beyond just not living through your kids, give them the tools to be successful. Kick the ball in the yard, play catch. Spend time with them and then do everything you can to support them so they can excel in what they enjoy.