The coach yells at you and tells you to approach him.
Your father screams from the grandstands instructing you on how to play.
Rival supporters ridicule and taunt you.
Sound familiar?
Whether you play professionally or for fun, I‘d be very surprised if you haven’t encountered or experienced one of the above scenarios.
So what happens next?
In most of these interactions, we take a defensive stand and drop our head along with our shoulders while looking at the ground. We try and ignore it and we inevitably take up a defensive posture.
Adopting a defensive posture is a significant problem amongst the majority of young players.
Why is it a problem?
Being defensive or even scared is static. You cannot improve or enjoy yourself when you feel threatened.
The best way to combat this is to be smarter than your situation and acknowledge it. Not only acknowledge it, embrace it with a smile and adopt a different approach.
The best way to deal with over zealous supporters, coaches or even parents is to use a scientific approach and implement certain scientific principles. Remember science is studied, tested and proven.
So what’s my point?
Next time you’re confronted with a difficult situation don’t react but ask yourself the following,
Why is this happening?
How can I change this situation?
What has worked in the past?
What doesn’t work?
If you enter a situation or even a conversation looking for something to test, measure, compare and ultimately change, there is a good chance you’ll find it.
By using a scientific approach of testing, measuring and concluding, inevitably you’ll find the solution that suits you best. There’s no change or conclusion if you react to the situation, you only prolong the turmoil which will inevitably lead to bigger problems. Believe me when I tell you I‘m overqualified in this department. Reacting to fans, parents and at times coaches was my specialty. Have you ever been police escorted out of a ground because fans wanted to kill you? I have!
If you do not react but take a scientific approach you become stronger, smarter and the strangle hold of fear is diminished. But on the other hand, if you enter situations being reactive or fearing the worst, you are maintaining the status quo and that’s exactly what you’ll receive. So don’t do it!
Players of all ages read soccer books looking for confirmation. Looking for answers that maybe the author isn’t qualified to give. Reading books to acknowledge that the problems you face in soccer are real is a waste of time. Confirmation of your problems is cheap, easy and ineffective to say the least. So what if you share the same problems or difficult situations as millions of other players. How does this help you?
My quest has always been to disprove the common beliefs of soccer and to challenge them. No need to flex your muscles along with your attitude to prove that you’re not scared. Don’t react like other players because it’s the norm.
You should be looking to create waves and create restlessness inside of you, not others.
Demand yourself to test, measure yourself and make your own conclusions. Only through your own “scientific research” will you be able to push forward.
So next time you decide to yell back, launch that upper cut or react to the opposing supporters, don’t. Whether you like it or not, the scientific approach works. You can apply it or you can become like the millions of players that will react and become a part of the status quo.
What a helpful post this is. I like these all four questions. Why is this happening? How can I change this situation? What has worked in the past? What doesn’t work?. I will mind this.